Suicide Doesn't Just Happen
Suicide doesn't just happen....There are a series of events that occur, there are signs that are evident in these times that if noticed , can stop the waste of another life.......Read on!
Hope is that plan for the future: it's what you are looking forward to doing. Everyone needs hope. If you or a friend face a situation that appears impossible or have had a big failure that seems too hard to cope with you/they will experience severed hope. When our hope is cut off and the way out is blocked, we tend to look inward.
Possible areas of failure and impossibility include : exams , money, work, home-life, relationships or chronic addictions.
When test dummies in vehicle safety tests hit the wall they are thrown about. Like wise when we hit a 'wall' we are shaken about. Then emotions of grief, fear, anger, depression and shame are experienced and can have a shattering effect on us.
Hurtful words may also be spoken, by close friends and relatives that really hurt. Our thoughts become fixed around the failure or impossibility. The weight of these thoughts and the fact that we are emotionally broken will cause us to feel a 'burden to ourselves'.
f there is no one from whom to find genuine love and support, we will generally isolate ourselves and will even contemplate suicide as an option.
We have now traveled a path to the place where the fear of death has now been eclipsed by the burden of life; and the probable result:an attempted suicide.
If you can see these steps evident in yourself or a friend follow through on the following.
You
You need to talk to someone, like a teacher, counsellor or chaplain and right now. There is always someone at Teen Challenge ready to listen. Use our email option if you want.
Your friend
Really listen to them. He or she may be low on energy. As a friend you may have to encourage them to talk to someone.
They may say some stupid things in the heat of the moment. Give them room to do so. Right now they may be 'locked' in their thinking. With friendship and a little help, in time, they will change. Speak to a teacher, counsellor or chaplain about your concerns.
Advice for those who have failed in their suicide attempt and survivors of suicide
A person's first and foremost need is one of relationship.
Due to the tremendous stigma attached to suicide and our inability to understand grief, coupled with the fact that we simply don't know what to say means those that have attempted suicide and especially survivors are often abandoned. This abandonment and failure to express grief coupled with the weight of guilt/blame puts the individual in jeopardy of entering (or re-entering) the slide to suicide attempt.
An individual's need at this time is for unconditional love expressed through non-judgemental support. The ability to just 'be there' to listen and allow the individual to express how they are feeling is paramount. Listening and allowing them to talk freely reaffirms that they are of worth. By allowing the individual some latitude in regard to what they say and do whilst avoiding throughtless quips and cliches will go a long way to show you really care.
As much of our identity comes through relationship, any change in it (ie. the death of a loved one) therefore has a corresponding effect on identity and worth, especially if the survivor is a woman. A suicide survivor is in need of security of an unconditional love relationshp and the freedom to express heartfelt emotions ( which portray personal brokeness ), given this ground, in time, a new identity and subsequently new hope will emerge.
As time goes by , invitations to activities that explore latent abilities and social occassions that re-affirm acceptance and worth should be fostered.
Telephone options:
- Freecall help: 1800 771 777
- Living Hope: (08) 8277 4033
- Teen Challenge: (08) 8283 3255
